Why ‘Who are We?’ is a Better Question than ‘Who am I?’
Seeing Self in Others, and Others in Self
For many of us, it can be difficult to accept the parts of ourselves that we do not like. We are often at war with ourselves, constantly fighting with the voices in our head. Maybe we struggle with the way we look, maybe we struggle with the way we act, maybe we struggle with the way we think. The problems with self-acceptance are complex. They arise from our own experiences, our judgements about ourselves, and the way we compare ourselves to other people. If we have been wounded, suffered trauma, or been treated badly, we easily get stuck in the past or judge ourselves harshly. This can lead to an inner critic that is constantly with us, telling us that we are not good enough and not worthy of love. It can be hard to overcome these kinds of sticky thoughts and beliefs because we identify strongly with them. It can take a long time to come to terms with the truth of our experiences and also with the way we label ourselves.
The way we treat ourselves has a big impact on the way we treat other people. If we constantly blame ourselves, we are unlikely to treat other people with compassion and respect. Part of the difficulty we have in dealing with our negative self-talk stems from the familiarity and comfort of these thoughts. We have identified with these…
